"What the deal playboy, just rest your soul
I be holding it down yo still love the dough
Got these ladies on the cock you know how we go
Got the whole world on lock down you know how we flow
Don't worry about Brooklyn I continue to flame
Therefore a world with amnesia won't forget your name
You held it down for long enough, let me take those reigns
And just like your spirit the commission remains" - Jay-Z (The City is Mine)
It has taken me a little big longer to write this than I had originally planned. Trying to force words out and express your feelings on the passing of a dear friend just isn't the route to go. I know a lot of other people have fond memories and have posted them on facebook but I kind of wanted my own outlet. Something that was just from me and straight from the heart.
The first thing that pops to mind is a memory of the two of us laughing out loud for about 30 minutes in Walmart when we were both trying to buy a gift for a friend. We just kept laughing and laughing and it was incredible. I also remember us going to a store and I kept asking him why he was buying a picnic basket for a wedding. He was like "who has a problem with a picnic basket?". That was Coz. He was optimistic, he was positive and he always looked on the brighter side of things. What made him even more special was that he was always looking out for the best interest of his friends.
Its tough to really think about all the times we shared but another one is him always dragging me out to Joe's Diner in Radford after a party. I was too drunk and too antsy to be there and the food would take forever. I would always complain and moan about having to get up early but yet, every time he asked me to go I would be there without hesitation.
The thing about it is, he wasn't just a great guy. We wasn't just a funny guy. He was an incredible human being and that is what gets me the most. He was literally one of the first true friends I made when I was in college and while we might have lost touch over the past couple of years that bond remained the same. Coz did everything in his power to lift people up and help them see the brighter side of things. He also tried to help when it seemed like things were hopeless, he was there with a smile and an off-topic joke.
To quote DMX "that was my mans and them". He was my partner and now that he is gone, its just a reminder of how strong I bond with people. I hold friendship up on a pedestal and those who make it into that category really have to fuck things up to break that bond. I hadn't spoke to Coz in quite sometime but the moment I got that phone call my heart literally broke.
I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this right now. He'd want me to just be happy with the times we had and remember all the laughs we shared. That doesn't change the fact that my homeboy isn't here anymore.
As much as I would love to sit here and rattle off story after story, its hard doing this. I guess the point of all of this is just for me to touch on the subject. When you have someone incredible in your life, you need to cherish them. Life is short and you need to take every opportunity you have to show love to those who matter. I don't think I'll ever get over his passing but I look back on all the words of wisdom he gave me and that helps. He did everything in his power to show everyone love. I say we keep that tradition going.
On that note, I'll just wrap this up by saying Nicassio "Coz" Johnson was an amazing human being who will be missed. But its important not to dwell on the loss. We should just keep in mind all the great times, laughs and experiences we shared with him. I don't think he would want anyone crying over him. That's just how selfless he was.
One of the most touching things he ever did was simply write a rap lyric up on my board one day when he heard that I was having a rough day. I'll end my tribute to him with that same lyric.
"Place yourself in the shoes of two felons and tell me you won't ball every chance you get." - Jay-Z feat. The Notorious B.I.G (Brooklyn's Finest)
RIP COZ
Never forgotten, Always in my heart
